Ups nd Downs

I woke up this morning feeling pretty up. Leo slept well and the little breastfeeding problem (clenching) had been resolved. Mike took the girls to school and Leo nursed and went back to sleep for a few minutes.

Then the look on Mike's face. Instant down. The preschool teacher had told him that on Friday...she didn't want to alarm anyone so she didn't mention it till now...Maeve kept sticking out her tongue. Never done that before. Now, that was one of the weird things she did on Wednesday as I was calling 911. So of course, immediately upon hearing this, all the other evidence supporting febrile seizures went out the window. Plummeting 2 stories and crashing into smithereens on the gangway.

It didn't matter that Maeve had been totally coherent during this, if perhaps a little subdued. Mike didn't have any other information. I would have to wait until I went to pick up Maeve at the end of the day.

Time slowed to a standstill.

Finally, I left 20 minutes early to go pick her up, hoping to talk to her teacher. Got there, and she was very happy to talk to me. Maeve hadn't continuously thrust her tongue out. She just stuck it out a lot and left it there. I called Maeve over and asked her about her tongue. She showed me, and right on the tip was a tiny little sore spot. I figure she bit it when I was trying to do a finger-sweep, thinking she was choking on something. It hurt, so she kept sticking it out. I told the teacher more details about the incident and we both felt better. Crisis averted. Back to the febrile theory with, really, strong evidence supporting it the whole time. Back up.

I pulled Sophia from school early so that we could go over to Renee McMahon's studio to take Leo's pictures. We did this when Maeve was born and they were just beautiful. We also took pictures in the park Summer 2007 with my brother and his family--she is really good at her job and very patient with newborn clients. Girls found the clothes they were supposed to wear and I got everyone's hair reasonably arranged. We were packing up to go and I asked Mike to run up and get my wedding ring. He couldn't find it. I went up. It wasn't there.

There wasn't time to destroy the house looking for it. We had to go. I retraced my steps in my mind--when was the last time I wore it? Probably Christmas, I figured, because after that, my hands got a little puffy and it was uncomfortable. So, it could be in a suitcase. Or the cosmetic case. Or the camera bag. Or...it was a major down.

While I was thinking of that, I realized Maeve had fallen asleep rather quickly in the car. It's only a 20 minute trip and she was out pretty fast. So I immediately began to worry, shaking her ankle, asking her where she was, who I was, and so on. She answered questions fine but at this point, I don't know what normal sleepy Monday Maeve looks like anymore. I know that she's a big sleeper and instantaneous and likes her sleep...but was that what was going on? About 4 blocks from Renee's I turned and told Mike that my life was really starting to suck lately. This made us laugh, but it was still very much down.

Then we got her out of her car seat and she was able to put weight on her legs, no problem. Renee's dog and a neighbor's dog, both tiny and reasonable as dogs go, ran up to greet us. Maeve went after them with typical gusto, trying to pet all of each dog at once. She would have tackled (and crushed) them if we hadn't stopped her. I looked at Mike. "It was just a damned nap," I said, shaking my head. So that was the beginning of an incline, at least.

The photo session went well. The girls were adorable, although they got bored during the Leo moments and Mike had to corral them. We got about 7/8 of the photos she wanted to take, and when I go to pick up the proofs next week, without girls, she's going to finish with Leo (hopefully sleepier). So that was positive. We got a late lunch on the way home and Maeve didn't fall asleep or do anything weird.

Neighbors came over to visit briefly, and then the girls cleaned their room and changed sheets on the beds. This always is an up for me, although surely they don't share my opinion. Too bad. I was tired then and went upstairs with Leo to nurse him and try to take a nap (or perhaps a very early start to a night's sleep). He nursed well, it still didn't hurt (major up). Mike came in and told me my wedding ring wasn't in any suitcase or bag we'd taken to his mom's house for Christmas.

This reminded me, oh yeah, I lost my wedding ring. I'd been praying half-heartedly to St. Anthony when I thought about it this afternoon. I was still dumbfounded at losing it. Twelve and a half years and I've never misplaced it, even if its location seemed daft to those around me (it sits in an Irish coffee glass on my kitchen windowsill when I wash dishes, and there have been many times that it sat there patiently for days. Weeks, even). It is not an expensive ring--very thin, white gold, a dark blue topaz instead of a diamond. It did not, hate to disappoint deBeers, cost Mike 6 months salary or whatever the recommendation (marketing campaign) is these days. But it's my wedding ring. I don't have to explain that, I'm sure.

I asked Mike to bring me the camera bag, and when he did, I quickly unzipped the front pocket. There it was, with the necklace I'd worn down to Cairo Christmas Day. I was so happy (and so verklempt about the whole day) I started to cry. Leo was done nursing and mike suggested maybe he'd hold him a while and let me nap. Big up.

I woke up 3 hours later feeling much more clear-headed. The girls were already asleep in their beds upstairs, had a story, all was well. Leo was ready to eat again; I called Ann and chatted with her and then had a piece of cheesecake.

In the end, up. Not particularly down. Leo is now asleep on my lap. Mike is getting whatever it is Maeve had last week which is a major bummer but he'll survive--he's staying home this week as one last ease into normal life.

But I'm starting to feel like Colonel Mustard at the end of Clue (the movie with Tim Curry). He's standing under the chandelier, which is coming undone at the ceiling, twisting, about to crash, and he says, "I just can't take any more scares!" And of course the chandelier crashes to the floor right behind him.