Vacation

I keep dreaming about vacation.

When Ann was in the Bahamas, I dreamed about the ocean. I don't even really like the beach much, but the idea of vacation was making me like anything that isn't right here.

My neighbor down the street told me of their plans to go to Rocky Mountain National Park. I love the mountains, and again, I dreamed of leaving. I mean literally dreamed--not just daydream wistfulness. Asleep and dreaming of going away.

My parents have decided to take the Queen Mary over to London and then fly home. Haven't dreamed about big boats yet, but that made me daydreamy wistful.

I want to get away.

Problem is, everything I want to get away from would be coming with me: night feedings, diaper changes, breastfeeding mysteries, Maeve-don't-touch-your-face, and so forth. In reality, I don't want a vacation (I do--I love traveling with my family, and Rock Eddy is coming up really soon and I can't wait, but that's not what I'm yearning for). I want a retreat.

I have a place where I retreat, but again, Leo isn't at the point where I can go away for even a day, really. And I can't take a day trip to Clyde. It has to be a 4 day weekend to make the 6 hour drive worth it (although last time with the train and seeing Rachel was wonderful, too...but she has a new baby and her life is just another flavor of mine right now...we both need a retreat).

And taking Leo on retreat at this age? There's really no point. I took Sophia at 6 months, and Maeve at a year, but 3 months is still too needy and distracting. I can retreat right here just as well. And maybe that's just what I'll do.

I'll have to think about that.