The hits just keep coming.

My brother and his wife just got some very hard news. I don't think I should say more. But there's a lot that is not good right now.

No, the nurse at neuro never called back. I'm giving her until tomorrow.

Maeve is fine. The school was totally cool with things and the director has experience with seizures. And she's fine. Still fine.

I just found out that my belief that epilepsy ran in my family turns out to be a lie. I had always listed an aunt, and uncle, and a great-great-grandmother with epilepsy. Well, it turns out:

a. the uncle had a brain tumor as a child. Yes, he has epilepsy, but it's due to a brain tumor.

b. the aunt had a head injury that led to two seizures. Yes, she technically has epilepsy (I don't think she's had a repeat in 30 years) but it's due to a head injury.

c. my grandfather's grandmother got hit by a trolley and then had recurrent seizures the rest of her life. Yes, she had epilepsy, but it was due to a a trolley (I keep thinking of Mr. Rogers).

So, while it is quite true that my family has a predisposition to seizures (perhaps a "low seizure threshold"), none of my instances are unprovoked/idiopathic like Maeve's seizure seems to be.

I need a flipping vacation. A silent retreat. Who was it who said pain is God's megaphone?

But upon further reflection, all is remarkably well. Truly. I hate waiting and I hate not knowing, but not knowing, it turns out, is sometimes the best we can hope for.