Better/504 Plans

I've pushed through to the other side. The dishwasher is still broken (it isn't the weekend yet). There are new tires on the car, which my mother is borrowing so I can borrow the truck to go pick up girl scout cookies with Zelda. There's a dusting of snow on the ground and it's 33 degrees. So there is still room for improvement.

But a decent night's sleep helped. And the kitchen is clean now.

I had the preliminary 504 planning meeting last night with Sophia's two teachers and the principal. I like all of them. In different ways, of course, and I have some serious misgivings about the future but I probably shouldn't say anything more until I know more and have more ammunition for this gun.

It is so frustrating that words can drip off my fingers onto a keyboard and appear on the screen, but in person I'm lousy at making an argument, terrible at making myself clear. I wonder if the time it takes to get to my fingers helps to edit out the stuff I don't need to say? But when I speak, it all comes out and gets muddled? I don't know. I just felt like it took me a long time to make my point at this meeting and while I know two of the people got it, I'm pretty sure the one in charge of language arts did not. Maybe it's a female communication thing. Meaning, I don't do that well and the one I was trying to get on my side (since I don't think she is, as opposed to the other two) is a woman just a bit younger than me and more of a feeler than a thinker on the meyers briggs. Or maybe I was a little more invested emotionally in the topic than I should be at this sort of meeting and had a hard time making myself calmly clear?

But I know there are tons of school people who read this blog, at least intermittently, so I'll leave it at that. Just to say that for the most part I got what I wanted. What Sophia needed.

I came home with a splitting headache, though, which says something, I think, about the process and the mental energy required.

This morning it was ok. I sent the big binder of spelling work to school for the teachers to look at. Last year's binder, of course, but still, hopefully it will give them an idea of what to do. Our program stems from the same program the teachers were trained in over the summer (orton-gillingham) although mine is more specifically for dyslexic children to be tutored one-on-one.

I am beginning to wonder if that teacher doesn't understand what dyslexia is. That it isn't just "I am a bad reader" and in fact is a difference in brain structure. That more remedial work does not make it better, that it doesn't earn a child an IEP for a reason because while some things can be alleviated and improved, for the most part it doesn't get better. There aren't goals and benchmarks for dyslexia. There are accommodations. And for some reason I think she just doesn't get that. Perhaps she's never had a student with true dyslexia. Perhaps her struggling readers just needed lots of intense remedial work. But I really think she believes that more short spelling words and Sophia will improve. Let me tell you: she won't. Yes, she will be able to spell more words as her visual memory eats them up and remembers them. But she will never be able to stand in front of the room and spell ennui. It won't happen. She'll be able to read a word like ennui, yes, she does now, in context, but it won't mean anything about her spelling tomorrow. And I have a growing suspicion that this teacher thinks there are gaps in Sophia's education that she can fill in. Or that she's stupid. One or the other. I know friends on the block think Sophia's stupid because she isn't reading Harry Potter books. I know this. I know what it means to be a good reader and look down on everyone else. But guess what. That's not what's going on here.

And they have to--actually literally have to, legally--find a way to make this work.

Because I'm not going away.