Now, one time I did this, writing about the installation directions for our kitchen floor, someone did respond! So maybe. But I doubt it.
Dear AT&T U-Verse: I am in love with your internet speed. I am. Photos upload. Videos stream. And the phone service seems pretty much the same as before, except for the added hitch of no phone when the power goes out. But I knew that going in. There are two things I'd like to talk to you about, though. First, and this is not that big of a deal, but I wanted to mention it: voicemail. The voicemail system is stinky. A code to get in. A code to check. I'm in my own house but it's like checking my messages remotely. And there's no way to tell if I even have a message. Guess what? I'm lazy. And busy, which is a terrible combination. I don't check my messages often enough and I used to check them, by pushing one button, every time I walked in the front door. It's not easy anymore.
But the other thing is more. We don't have your U-verse television service. We don't have any television service. We're not sneaking around behind your back with another cable or satellite provider. We're simply not interested in your television service. We haven't had cable or any equivalent for 10 years. TEN YEARS. Have we missed it? Actually not. Truly. You know why? Netflix. Hulu. Our friends who sometimes have us come over to watch something. My inlaws, my parents. If I'm dying to see something, I can find it. But you know what else? Since we don't have a cable-type service, we usually don't even know what we're missing. And some of the things we're missing aren't even on US services yet (Law and Order UK, for instance, which I patiently await now that my appetite has been whetted by the first season, my goodness I am in love with that show, but it doesn't matter because you can't give it to me).
So please stop asking me. Please? I've called and asked to be removed from your mailing list. I've even called and lied and told you I didn't even have a television. Your customer service agent got flustered at that one and said he'd put me on the no-contact list "right away." Well, it lasted about a month. And here we are again. It's not a big thing for me to recycle all your envelopes. It just irks me that you don't listen, that you can't listen, that you are an example of what is wrong with modern life. And trust me, there is plenty good about it (modern dentistry being at the top of my list, along with epidurals).
Thanks, your customer,